(YET ANOTHER)

WORLD EXCLUSIVE

NEW PUBLICIST JOINS HAWKWIND TEAM TO AID WORLD DOMINATION

NEWS HAS REACHED US TODAY THAT IN AN ATTEMPT TO INCREASE THEIR PROFILE HAWKWIND HAVE RECRUITED FORMER IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER  MOHAMMED SAEED AL SAHAF AS THEIR NEW PUBLICIST.

THE STORY BEHIND THIS "UNIQUE" RELATIONSHIP IS THAT ALI SAHAF AS HE LIKES TO BE KNOW TO HIS FRIENDS HAS BEEN A FAN OF THE HAWKS SINCE THE SPACE RITUAL AND GOT TO KNOW DAVE FROM MEETING HIM ON VARIOUS TOURS OF THE STATES IN THE LATE 70S WHEN ALI (SAHAF, NOT DAVEY) WAS STUDYING THEIR. IN FACT IT WAS MR SAHAF WHO BROUGHT DAVE'S GUITAR FROM HIM AFTER THAT FATEFUL GIG IN SAN FRANCISCO IN 1978 THAT AT THE TIME SPELT THE END OF THE BAND. THE AXE MADE IT'S WAY BACK TO BAGHDAD AND IT'S "ALLEGED" THAT WHILST SADDAM HUSSAIN AND THE REST OF HIS EVIL REGIME PLOTTED ATROCITIES AGAINST THE "WESTERN INFIDELS", ALI SAHAF WOULD SIT QUIETLY IN THE CORNER STRUMMING AWAY THE CHORDS TO "HURRY ON SUNDOWN" AND SOME OF THE BANDS OTHER QUIETER ACOUSTIC MOMENTS.  A FURTHER TWIST TO THIS STORY IS THAT ALTHOUGH THE MINISTERS FAVOURITE HAWKWIND ALBUM IS "QUARK STRANGENESS AND CHARM" HE DISMISSES THE HEAVILY ARABIC INFLUENCED TRACK "HASSAN I SABBAH" AS THE WEAKEST ON THE RECORD. HE WAS APPARENTLY QUOTED AS SAYING AT THE TIME OF IT'S RELEASE " NAH. , I CANNOT SEE THE INFLUENCES AT ALL, IF ANYTHING IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH IT COMES FROM THE TAMELA MOTOWN STABLE TO ME, I PREFER THE TOE TAPPING POP SENSIBILITIES IF THE TITLE TRACK".

IN THE INTERVENING YEARS ALI SAHAF AND THE CAPTAIN WOULD KEEP IN TOUCH BY EXCHANGING BIRTHDAY CARDS AND THE OCCASIONAL LETTER. THIS CONTINUED TO LATE 2002 WHEN OUT OF THE BLUE DAVE RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM HIM . HE EXPLAINED THAT HE EXPECTED HIS ALREADY HEAVY WORKLOAD TO INCREASE DRAMATICALLY AROUND ABOUT LATE FEBRUARY, EARLY MARCH TIME SO HAD DECIDED TO HAVE A  HOLIDAY AND HAD MANAGED TO GET AN EXCELLENT DEAL FOR A WEEKS ALL INCLUSIVE AT THE MARRAKECH HOLIDAY INN AND INVITED DAVE AND THE REST OF THE BAND TO JOIN HIM. THE RIGOURS OF BEING A HARD WORKING SPACE ROCK BAND WAS ALSO TAKING IT'S TOLL ON THE MEMBERS SO IT WAS AGREED THAT THEY SHOULD TAKE UP HIS OFFER. WITH A COUPLE OF DATES POSTPONED (SINCE RE ARRANGED) THEY HOT FOOTED IT OFF TO THE NORTH AFRICAN STATE. DAVE WAS APPARENTLY OVERHEARD WHILST CHECKING IN AT LUTON AIRPORT, SAYING TO THE OTHERS "THE THING WITH THESE ALL INCLUSIVE DEALS IS YOU'VE GOT TO EAT AND DRINK AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE  TO MAKE THEM WORTH YOUR WHILE,SO I WON'T TOLERATE ANY DRUG USE UNLESS YOU FEEL COMPLETELY FULL UP AND A QUICK JOINT COULD GIVE YOU AN ATTACK OF THE MUNCHIES"

ON ARRIVAL IN MOROCCO THEY WERE TREATED TO FINE TIME BY ALI, WITH PLENTY OF "R & R" (REST AND RELAXATION, NOT ROCK AND ROLL) FOR ALL PRESENT. HOWEVER DAVE WAS SOON TO FIND OUT THE REAL REASON FOR THE INVITATION. SAHAF EXPLAINED TO HIM THAT AFTER THE INITIAL DRAMATIC UPTURN IN HIS WORKLOAD IN THE EARLY PART OF THE YEAR HE COULD FORESEE THAT HE WOULD BE MADE REDUNDANT SHORTLY AFTERWARDS AND SO THEREFORE WOULD BE IN THE MARKETPLACE FOR A NEW CHALLENGE. THIS WAS WHEN HE PROPOSED TO BROCK THE IDEA OF BECOMING THE BANDS NEW PUBLICIST. AFTER CONSULTING WITH THE OTHERS AND A QUICK PRESENTATION FROM ALI IN THE HOTELS CONFERENCE FACILITY WHERE HE SHOWED HIS SKILLS OF SHALL WE SAY "BEING ECONOMIC WITH THE TRUTH", THE BAND DECIDED TO TAKE HIM UP ON HIS OFFER. HE EXPLAINED THAT HE COULDN'T SEE HIMSELF BEING ABLE TO TAKE UP THE NEW POSITION TILL AT LEAST EARLY APRIL AS HOLDING SUCH A HIGH GOVERNMENT OFFICE REQUIRED HIM TO GIVE FOUR MONTHS NOTICE.

SO THAT BRINGS US UP TO THE PRESENT, AND HERE WE BRING YOU EXTRACTS FROM ALI SAHAF'S FIRST PRESS CONFERENCE -

PLEASE NOTE

THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED HERE ARE THOSE OF MOHAMMED SAEED AL SAHAF AND DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF HAWKWIND MEMBERS BOTH PAST AND PRESENT, ANYONE WHO HAS WATCHED THE 24 HOUR ROLLING NEWS COVERAGE OF THE CONFLICT IN IRAQ WILL BE AWARE THE SOMETIMES MR SAHAF TALKS WITH WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL A "LOOSE TONGUE"

"SPACE RITUAL IS THE CLEAREST SOUNDING LIVE RECORDING I'VE HEARD IN MY LIFE"

"TAKE IT FROM ME, WHILST RECORDING THE "LEVITATION" ALBUM, GINGER BAKER WAS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN, HE DID NOT DRINK, HE DIDN'T TRY TO GET PEOPLE SACKED AND HIS DOG DEFINITELY DID NOT GO ROUND BITING OTHER BAND MEMBERS"

"DAVE BROCK LOVES THE ALBUM "ASTOUNDING SOUNDS", IN FACT IT'S HIS FAVOURITE"

"IT IS THE BUSINESS OF THE FUTURE TO BE DANGEROUS WAS WELL RECEIVED BY ALL HAWKWIND FANS"

"BOB CALVERT, TAKE IT FROM A MAN WHO KNOWS, THAT'S ME, WAS THE SANEST LEVEL HEADED GUY YOU COULD EVER WISH TO MEET"

"WHEN THE INFIDELS (SPACERITUAL.NET) COME TO DAVE'S BACK YARD (EXETER) IN  NOVEMBER TO PLAY A GIG, WE WILL BE WAITING AT THE CITY WALLS TO REPEAL THEM WITH OUR GUITARS AND DEATH GENERATOR, OH S**T THAT'S BEEN SHELVED AGAIN!"

" TURNER AND HIS EVIL HENCHMEN INCLUDING THE "PUSSY CAT" ANDERSON DO NOT APPEAR ON A REGULAR BASIS AS SPACERITUAL.NET, THEY DO NOT, REPEAT DO NOT PLAY OLD 70'S HAWKWIND TRACKS AT REASONABLY WELL ATTENDED CLUB SIZED GIGS. YOU ARE ALL BEING LIED TO BY THESE WESTERN IMPERIALISTIC INFIDELS"

"ALL MEMBERS OF HAWKWIND, BOTH PAST AND PRESENT GET ON WITH EACH OTHER SO WELL THAT EVERY YEAR WITHOUT FAIL THEY ALL MEET UP FOR A BARN DANCE THAT DAVE ARRANGES  AT THE CREDITON CONSERVATIVE CLUB. THE INVITATION GOES OUT EVEN TO FRINGE MEMBERS SUCH AS CRUM AND ROB HEATON AND IT HAS BECOME TRADITION THAT DAVE AND NIK BEGIN PROCEEDINGS BY LEADING THE FIRST HOE DOWN. ALL THESE LIES THAT THEY DON'T GET ON IS FABRICATED RUBBISH PUT AROUND BY THE PRESS AND FANS OF THE BAND"

"LIES ALL LIES I TELL YOU, THE PSYCHEDELIC WARLORDS DID NOT DISAPPEAR IN SMOKE, AND WHILST ON THE SUBJECT THE ORGONNE ACCUMULATOR DOES NOT MAKE YOU FEEL GREATER AND NEITHER FOR THAT MATTER IS IT AN ENERGY STIMULATOR"

"MIKE MOORCOCK HAS ONE OF THE MOST SOOTHING AND GENTLE SINGING VOICES I HAVE EVER HEARD"

"HAWKWIND DO NOT LIKE PLAYING FREE FESTIVALS, CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, DAVE'S FAVOURITE OPEN AIR GIG WAS THE DONNINTON MONSTERS OF ROCK IN 82"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T GET HOLD OF THE CHARISMA ALBUMS ON CD. LIKE ALL OTHER HAWKWIND MATERIAL, ESPECIALLY THE WELL DISTRIBUTED OFFICIAL ALBUMS THIESE ARE READILY AVAILABLE IN ALL GOOD RECORD SHOPS, ONLY LAST WEEK BEFORE I LEFT BAGHDAD TO TAKE UP MY NEW POSITION HERE I VISITED MY LOCAL STORE  "HIS ALLAH'S VOICE" AND FOUND IT WELL STOCKED WITH COPIES OF WARRIOR, PXR, 25 YEARS ETC, WITH NO SIGN OF ANY OF THE "DODGY ONES, I WOULDN'T MIND BUT THOSE AMERICAN AND BRITISH IMPERIALISTS, THE MERCENARIES OF THE DEVIL BUSH AND HIS LAP DOG YOUR VERY OWN TONY BLAIR WERE BOMBING THE F**K OUT OF US AT THE TIME, OH AND BY THE WAY DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW IF THERE'S A CD COPY OF QUARK ON E-BAY AT THE MOMENT, I NEED THAT TO COMPLETE ME COLLECTION"

"GLASTONBURY 1990 WAS RECORDED USING THE LATEST STATE OF THE ART DIGITAL EQUIPMENT, I SHOULD KNOW I WAS THERE"

"SPACEBROCK IS NOT A COLLECTION OF DAVE BROCK SOLO STUFF AND OTHER ODDS AND ENDS, IT'S A PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE ALBUM IN IT'S OWN RIGHT"

"THERE ARE NO OVERDUBS ON 'THE BUSINESS TRIP'"

"I, your former Minister-Who-Knows-All, can truthfully state that the
'Silver Machine'
is, in fact, a toaster. I know this to be true because it's standing in
my kitchen and I've
used for the last 30 years or so to have with my scrambled eggs. Dave
Brock mailed
it to me! Honest!"

( THIS QUOTE WAS GENEROUSLY DONATED BY SOMEONE KNOWN AS "HORST" )

CONVINCING STUFF I AM SURE YOU WILL AGREE AND WE AT THE MUSEUM FEEL THAT HE WILL BE A REAL ASSET TO HAWKWIND IN THIS OF ALL YEARS THAT PROMISES A NEW ALBUM. IF ANY OF YOU OUT THEIR HAVE HEARD ANY OTHER QUOTES THAT THE FORMER MINISTER HAS MADE REGARDING HAWKWIND THEN PLEASE FEEL FREE TO -

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